Pillar of support
By: M Ahmad
Anyone can father a child, but being a dad takes a lifetime. A father is the single most important model for how a child will father in the future. Fathers often consider part of their role to be “family protector”. When a father solves a problem while holding it together both emotionally and physically, he teaches his children such values as civility, compromise, and ingenuity. Fathers play a role in every child’s life that cannot be filled by others. This role can have a large impact on a child and help shape him or her into the person they become.
Father is that person who keeps the family together by showing affection and love to his children. He is the one who guide us, protect us, and teach us how to be successful in life. Fathers are always special for their children but for some they are a constant source of inspiration. They go on to become heroes for their children by the way they lead their lives. Lucky are those whose father inspire and motivate them and they look up to them as their hero.
A father knows his responsibilities extremely well and never tries to escape from them. He is constantly there for fulfilling each and every responsibility of the family. He is like the backbone of the family. From fulfilling financial needs to taking care of the emotional upheavals – he is always there standing strong besides the family.
Children need fathers – just as they need mothers – to love them, to be interested in them and to respond to their needs, making them feel valued and understood. The emotional support provided by a father to his child is a priceless gift. By helping kids to understand how much they are valued and loved, children with supportive fathers are more likely to have high self-esteem and are generally happier and more confident.
They also demonstrate a greater tolerance for stress/frustration, less hesitation/fear in new situations and an increased ability to resist peer pressure and stand up for themselves. Fathers provide a positive male role model for their children and help to promote/reinforce good behaviours. As a result, children with more involved fathers tend to have fewer behavioural and impulse control problems, longer attention spans and a higher level of sociability. These children also tend to be more compassionate and generous, with an increased awareness of the needs and rights of others.
The role of a father in the family has an incredibly important impact on a child’s psychological and physical wellbeing. When a child has a healthy relationship with a father figure, they tend to have improved psychological health, as well as better quality relationships throughout their life. We break down the father role and how it has changed in very recent years. A father figure can significantly influence the life and wellbeing of a child. In families where the father figure is present, the father serves as one of the first role models and relationships the child will encounter. Children are extremely sensitive and observant beings and internalize relational experiences.
In terms of healthy parenting, the duties of a father may include: Modelling healthy relational behaviour, being kind, nurturing, and spending time to bond with the child without distractions, expressing love in healthy ways, taking good care of family both physically and mentally, being understanding and forgiving, not imposing or projecting notions onto the child and setting appropriate boundaries and disciplining appropriately.
Children who grow up with involved, responsible and doting fathers are more successful in the academic sense and can express themselves better in social environments. They are collaborators and can stand behind their own decisions. A supportive father also alleviates the burden on the mother, thus also increasing the quality of the mother-child relationship, as well as strengthening the collective communication between the whole family. An encouraging father will also help the child discover themselves better and take a stronger stand against life and the future path.
A supportive, reassuring father is vital for the child’s healthy development as well as in building a sense of trust. Girls with distant fathers, in particular, can suffer from low self-esteem and have problems in their relationships with the opposite sex. The lack of a father figure will also push all children to seek this affection and affinity elsewhere, via other things. Being a father is more than just a biological bond and requires active effort to establish a relationship. Children want to make their fathers proud, and an involved father promotes inner growth and strength. Studies have shown that when fathers are affectionate and supportive, it greatly affects a child’s cognitive and social development. It also instills an overall sense of well-being and self-confidence.
Young girls depend on their fathers for security and emotional support. A father shows his daughter what a good relationship with a man is like. If a father is loving and gentle, his daughter will look for those qualities in men when she’s old enough to begin dating. If a father is strong and valiant, she will relate closely to men of the same character. Unlike girls, who model their relationships with others based on their father’s character, boys model themselves after their father’s character.
Boys will seek approval from their fathers from a very young age. As human beings, we grow up by imitating the behaviour of those around us; that’s how we learn to function in the world. If a father is caring and treats people with respect, the young boy will grow up much the same. When a father is absent, young boys look to other male figures to set the “rules” for how to behave and survive in the world.
Today’s fathers are good friends to their children. They are a spouse that makes the mother’s life easier; they are a harmonious figure that brings discipline and balance. It is important for the father to be open to communication, be involved in doing chores around the house and in taking care of the children to help facilitate better family dynamics and support the child’s emotional health.
(The author is an educationist and a regular writer for ‘Kashmir Vision’)
KV News
