The Changed Parenting
Dr. Satyavan Saurabh
Mother is not just a word, but the deepest feeling in life. A child’s first identity, first touch, first trust, and first education in the world begin with their mother. The civilization and sensitivity of any society can be gauged by the respect and importance it gives to motherhood. While modern educational institutions, digital technology, and the pursuit of careers have changed the course of life, the truth remains as strong today: a child’s first teacher is their mother.
When a child is born, they don’t know the language of this world. They don’t understand words, but they feel emotions. They find security in their mother’s lap, a sense of belonging in her touch, and trust in her voice. This is the initial education that no book or school can provide. A mother not only teaches a child how to walk and talk, but also how to understand life. What love is, how to respect others, how to be patient in grief, and how to maintain relationships—these are the first lessons taught at home by a mother.
Schools teach children science, math, and language, but moral values come from home. A child observes his or her mother’s behavior every day. He or she sees how she cares for the entire family, tirelessly worries about each member, and prioritizes the family by sacrificing her own desires. These very scenes instill in a child a sense of sensitivity, empathy, and responsibility. A child learns to observe before speaking, and these observations become part of his or her personality.
A mother is the foundation of a child’s character. If the home environment is loving and respectful, the child will develop a positive attitude toward society. If the mother shows kindness and empathy toward others, the child will learn the same. This is why the true education of society occurs in the home; schools merely extend it.
But with changing times, the nature of parenting is also changing. Today’s world is no longer the same. Inflation, career competition, and modern lifestyles have affected the structure of families and the nature of relationships. Previously, children grew up in joint families surrounded by grandparents, uncles, aunts, and the entire family. Now, most families have become smaller. Both parents are working, and time spent with children is becoming limited.
One of the biggest challenges facing working mothers today, especially, is balancing career and motherhood. Society often assumes that if a mother is working outside the home, she must not be devoting enough time to her children. But this assumption is incorrect. Today’s mother is not limited to managing the household, but also shouldering financial responsibilities. She works in the office, returns home to care for her children, and also meets the emotional needs of her family. This dual responsibility is not easy.
Working mothers often feel guilty about not being able to devote as much time to their children as they should. However, parenting isn’t determined solely by the quantity of time, but rather by the quality of that time. Even with limited time, if a mother communicates with her children, understands their feelings, and instills the right values, the impact is profound.
Today’s children are becoming more self-reliant than ever before. With their parents busy, they are learning to handle even small tasks on their own. They are learning to manage their time, live independently, and adapt to changing environments. Many children are also turning to new, creative activities during their time alone. This change can be positive if children receive the right guidance and emotional support.
But this changing parenting environment also has its risks. Today, technology has completely transformed children’s lives. Mobile phones, social media, and the internet have become a major part of their lives. Sometimes, parents’ busy schedules leave children emotionally isolated. Instead of sharing their problems, they lose themselves in the digital world. At such times, a mother’s role becomes even more crucial. She shouldn’t limit herself solely to her children’s education or food, but should also understand their mental state.
Communication is what a child needs most. If a mother speaks openly to her child, listens to their problems, and provides an environment for them to express their feelings without fear, the child becomes mentally strong. However, if communication is lost at home, the child begins to feel a sense of loneliness. This loneliness can later lead to stress, depression, and behavioral problems.
Unfortunately, modern society has created an artificial image of motherhood. Social media displays images of the “perfect mother”—one who is always smiling, tirelessly works on everything, and never gets upset. But real life is different. Mothers are human, too, with their own fatigue, worries, and emotions. Therefore, it’s unfair to view motherhood solely as an idol of sacrifice and self-denial. Mothers also need emotional support, respect, and rest.
Mothers have always been held in the highest regard in Indian culture. “Matru Devo Bhava” is not just a religious phrase, but a fundamental philosophy of our social life. Ironically, the labor of a mother, who is considered a symbol of respect, is often taken for granted. Housework, childcare, and family responsibilities are still not considered “work.” This mindset must change. Children must be taught from childhood that a mother’s labor is not merely a duty, but a wonderful example of love and dedication.
Both society and the government have a responsibility to develop policies that support motherhood. Working women need safe workplaces, adequate maternity leave, daycare facilities, and mental health support. Because stress and insecurity in mothers can affect their children.
Ultimately, it wouldn’t be wrong to say that a mother doesn’t just give birth to a child, she also shapes their personality. She is a child’s first school, where they learn life’s most important lessons. In her arms, a child learns not just letters but humanity. She teaches them the value of relationships, how to sacrifice for others, and how to maintain hope even in difficult circumstances.
Even today, when the world is rapidly changing, the importance of a mother hasn’t diminished. In fact, her role has become even more crucial in these changing times. Because in the hustle and bustle of modern life, if any relationship can provide a child with emotional security, moral direction, and selfless love, it is the mother’s relationship. Therefore, the truth that a mother is the first teacher in the home remains as relevant today as ever, and the values she instils remain the foundation of a child’s personality throughout their lives.
(The author is a PhD in Political Science. He is a regular contributor to ‘Kashmir Vision’)
