Friendship: Meaning, Importance and Impact on Health
By: Umer Riyaz
The world celebrates the International Day of Friendship annually in July 30 after it was approved by the United Nations General Assembly in 2011. Bearing in mind that friendship between peoples and countries, cultures and individuals can become an inspiring factor for peace efforts and constitute an opportunity to build bridges between societies and respect cultural diversity.
Our world faces many challenges, crises and divisive factors – such as poverty, violence, human rights violations and many others- that work to undermine peace, security, development and social harmony in the people and world. To confront these crises and challenges, their root causes must be addressed by strengthening the spirit of human solidarity and defense. This spirit takes many forms and the simplest among which is friendship.
It is also celebrated to realize its usefulness and importance as one of the noble and valuable feelings in the lives of people around the world. So, what is friendship? And who is a friend? and how do you choose it? What about friendship in Islam?
What is friendship?
A study over the centuries has indicated friendship as the basis of social institutions and exists in all stages of life which belongs to the world of real feelings. The philosopher Aristotle says: “Friendship is the most important thing in life,” and in Lisan al-Arab by Ibn Manzur he said: “Friendship is honesty, and honesty is the opposite of lying. Thus, friendship is honesty sincerity of advice and brotherhood. Ibn al-Muqaffa says: “the brothers of honesty are the best gains in this world, and they are an adornment in prosperity, a tool in hardship, and a help in life and future, so do not neglect to acquire them and seek connections and means to them.”
Perhaps one of the best expressions that formulates the form of a friend and companion is the phrase of Imam Ibn al-Jawzi, where hesaid: “The person whose company is appreciated should have five qualities: He should be of sound mind, good character, not immoral, not an innovator, and not keen on this world.”He also added by saying: “And whoever has all these qualities, his companionship will not only benefit in this world, but will also benefit hereafter, and this is based on the words of some Suhabas and Tabieen as they said: “make many honest brothers, for every believer will have intercession on the Day of Resurrection.”
It is the relationship that arises between two or more people dominated by love, affection, and advice, during which the two friends share each other’s burdens and problems. It is a relationship based on emotional sharing, trust and is distinguished from other social relationships by continuity, without direct material benefit, and the availability of a degree of sharing in personality patterns, thinking, behavior and self-abilities and tendencies.
Definition of friendship in Islam:
The concept and definition of friendship in Islam touches on many matters and aspects of this sublime relationship. The origin of the concept of friendship is from honesty, which is great character that Islamic law encourages and focuses to adhere it. This concept of friendship comes from the values of loyalty, sincerity, and long companionship.
Almighty Allah says: “Friends on that Day will be enemies to one another except the righteous”(Al-Zukhruf: 67). The concept of friendship in the sense of a good companion was also mentioned in the Prophetic hadiths as He PUBH said: “Do not keep company with anyone but a believer, and let no one eat your food except the pious.”
Our noble religion has not overlooked the importance of human relationships, including friendship, so Islam set clear rules for how to choose a friend, so that this friendship is built on a solid foundation and benefits the individual and society. Because a friend is influenced by his friend in many positive and negative things, the Prophet PUBH urged us to choose a friend well, and should not be based on a desired interest or benefit, but rather he should love and brotherhood for sake ofAllah. He PUBH says: “A man follows the religion of his friend, so let each one of you see who he is with.”
A person is affected – consciously or unconsciously – by the interaction with his companion and friend, and therefore he should carefully consider who he chooses for friendship and companionship. What is meant here is to carefully consider the choice of friends. Because a person is weighed on the scale of those he associates with.
Good friends are those who guides you to obedience of Almighty, they do not deceive, betray and do not lead each other to heresy, misguidance, immorality, or injustice. They have come together to love each other. Then, if someone commits a sin, his friend forbids him and rebukes him because he loves what is good for him. The Prophet PUBH said: “The believer is the mirror of his fellow believer.”
Among the qualities that must be present in a friend is that he should be pious and righteous, and this is the standard that you must always put before you in choosing a friend. so do not associate with someone whose condition does not lift you up to Allah, God Almighty says: “And be patient with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening; seeking his countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart we have made heedless of our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever neglect”. (Al-Kahaf: 28)
Sheikh Ali Ahmed Raafat added that biographers and authors wrote in many books that the Messenger PUBH – was the best friend who fulfilled his duties towards his companions and fulfilled the obligations and etiquette of friendship, which made his companions love him as they loved themselves and more than they loved their families and relatives. He said – “Allah has servants who are neither prophets nor martyrs. The prophets and martyrs carp them because of their position before Almighty.”
The Companions said: “Who are they, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “They are a people who love each other for the sake of Allah without having any ties between them or sharing any wealth. By Allah, their faces will be full of brightness, and they will be on podiums of brightness (Nur). They will not afraid when people will afraid, and they will not be panic when people will panic.
According the hadith: “Allah will say on the Day of Resurrection: Where are those who love each other? By My Majesty, today I will shade them in My shade on a day when there is no shade but My shade.
So, beware of accompanying a liar, a thief, a hypocrite, a traitor, a false witness, or someone who commands him, because temperaments influence and you must be in the company of good people. Befriend the righteous among the dead also by reading their biographies and learning about their history.
Friendship has health benefits too!
Friendship is classified as the highest social relationship, as it is based on the principle of compatibility between two people without any interests. But scientific studies indicate that our need for friends goes much deeper than just having a good time. Psychologists, biologists, and neuroscientists have discovered that friendship has health benefits for humans.
The benefits of friendship on health have also been proven in the research studies. The journal “Research on ageing and social policy” published a research study entitled “This Brings you to Life” The impact of friendship on health And Well-Being in Old Age: The Case of the La Vernida Learning Community by Susana Leon Jiménez in university of Barcelona. The study showed how friendships built in adult schools operating for over 40 years had a positive impact on well-being and health.
Below are the most important health benefits of friendship:
- Friends and their presence in life are a strong motivationto live, love life and positivity, and these are the important elements that effecton the safety of the body.
- Having friends increases self-acceptance, sense of belonging and enhances self-confidence.
- Sharing life concerns and general problems with friends reduces feelings of stress.
- Spending time with friends reduceshigh blood pressure, headaches and heart diseases.
- Friendship contributes to people’s acceptancefor psychological trauma and difficult emotions.
- Having no friends makes life difficultand causes social isolation that harms public health.
- A medical study has proved that the presence of friends andSpending time with them reduces ulcer symptoms of Stomach.
- In an Australian study that included 1,500 elderly people it was found that who had a greater number of friends live 22% longer than those friends who have a specific number of friends.
- Friends enhance the body’s immunity, and they area major reason for overcoming diseases.
- Finally, the presence of good friends protects against mental illness and sleep disorders.
So, Friendship is considered one of the sweetest sources that help a person enjoy life, and it is a relationship known since ancient times, because it is considered one of the most important human relationships that resonate greatly in various areas of life, whether psychological, social, or in the fields of literature and the arts, where It is one of the most important things that helps advance social relationships, protects the individual’s psychological health, in addition to preventing exposure to loneliness and introversion, and works to build sound foundations.
(The author is a Research Scholar, Department of Arabic BGSB University, Rajouri)
