Elders in the digital age
By: K S S Pillai
Most elders feel honoured to be called ‘senior citizens’ and enjoy some benefits from the government. When I visit my bank or another institution, I stand proudly in a separate, short line to get my work done.
I also feel special when I am called a ‘senior citizen’ or ‘super senior citizen’ and get tax exemptions while filing my income tax return. When people get up from their seats on trains or buses and offer them to me, I feel elated. That is also the case when youngsters touch my feet and seek blessings.
These considerations fade into insignificance when they encounter problems, starting from their homes. If the person is a widow or widower, the trauma is more. The major complaint is about the loneliness experienced, irrespective of their financial status.
It is of great importance to learn to come to terms with this stage when everybody is busy with his problems. If avoided, the person should learn to come to terms with the reality. It would help if one realises that love, to some extent, is an artificial show to get things done.
In a fast-paced world where youngsters are busy grappling with their issues, many do not have the time or inclination to spend time with their elders. There were fewer complaints of this nature when the joint family system was in vogue. Several family members stayed under the same roof, sharing one another’s feelings. That system, sadly, is being quickly replaced by the unitary form.
With modern technology shrinking the entire world into a village, youngsters like to live independently once they are self-dependent. It is not that they do not love their elders.
They are prepared to part with money so that the elders get proper care from different trained agencies. Various types of homes for the aged are being established in all parts of the country. With the number of elders increasing globally, some countries with less population come to their aid, but much remains to be done in most parts of the world.
The elders are not entirely blameless for the treatment they get. Many are eccentric and are avoided by the younger generation, who are busy in this digital era. They suffer from several age-related diseases like dementia, repeating the same stories and irritating those who happen to be the listeners.
Most are adamant, not prepared to adjust their old ways of life when the world is moving very fast. They prefer to live their lives with less contact with modern technology, which they are reluctant to learn.
Social media offer valuable advice to the elders. They are advised to keep their wealth to themselves instead of distributing it among the close ones for temporary consideration. They may even flaunt it but are asked to be wary of cheats.
With their deteriorating physical condition, they are not obliged to perform social duties as in the past. They may spread the word about their physical limitations. Give money to others, but do not expect to get it back. And they should not hesitate when money is required to be spent on themselves.
They should learn to be content with what they have rather than worry about what they lack. Ignoring the neglect one faces from near and dear ones may help in living with reasonable happiness. They have the experience of a lifetime.
If they are healthy, financially independent, and realistic, they can move to old age homes where they are provided with wholesome food, recreation, and medical care. They will also get the company of people like themselves.
With the abundant amount of time at their disposal, the elders should realise that many of their problems will fade into insignificance if they become religious. They can learn about the good things religions teach, live in the present and leave their worries to the Almighty. If one accepts death as a reality and is prepared to say goodbye to the world at any time, nothing can scare him.
It is unfortunate that the elders no longer follow the custom of the Sannyasa Ashram, which advocates detachment from worldly desires, attachments, and material possessions and encourages them to spend time in spiritual pursuits.
(The author is a retired professor of English. A regular contributor to ‘The Kashmir Vision’, his articles and short stories have appeared in several national and international publications)
