Spending time with kids is important
By: Imran Reshi
As all of us know that children are the most innocent and straightforward section of every society. And perhaps, this is the reason that some societies believe that children are the incarnation of God.
The children are free from any prejudices and biases. They say whatever comes to their minds without any fear and ill intentions. They utter and act as per their instincts and intuitions without bothering about the consequences of their words and/or actions on the person they are addressing to. As a matter of fact, they are always loved and pampered by everyone in the family and outside family as well. And the most important thing is that no one minds, in case they make any mistake by words or actions rather they are still embraced and loved.
The innocence and straightforwardness of the children brings peace and pleasure to our lives. When a person especially, a parent, comes home after all day long arduous and tiresome work, and spends even a little time with his/her children, all the boredom and stress obliterates and the same person feels like the king/queen of the world. Such is the blessing of having the children in the family.
Even the obstinate activities of the children is not less than a blessing for the family especially the parents. If we want to know the value of any blessing almighty has endowed us with, ask the person who is deprived of such a gift and you will come to know the value and worth of the same.
Interestingly, the same innocent and straightforward nature of children is a matter of concern for the parents and other significant and responsible persons in their life as well. Being of innocent and amateur nature, children start learning by imitating the people around them, no matter it is good or bad. They just copy, what is going on in their surroundings.
The people in their surroundings may be parents and outsiders, elders or other children like them, and the most important thing to be mentioned here is that the people around them might be good and bad as well. As good and virtuous people are engaged in performing good deeds, the same way bad and notorious people are busy in creating fuss and doing nonsense and immoral activities.
Since children are fresh in their mind they act according to the environment they fall in, without knowing the possible outcomes of the same. They do not possess such cognitive abilities to differentiate between the good and the evil and the subsequent impact of the same, on their health, hygiene, character and future above all.
Since the world is advancing and developing at a lightning speed in every respect and everyone is fighting to compete and tackle with the complexities of the society and the world around. Same happens with the parents, because parents get too much engaged and concerned in fulfilling the societal and economical obligations that they somehow cease/fail to get sufficient time to be spent with their children and get to know how was their day.
Where did they go today? Who was accompanying them to school or somewhere else? Who are the people they spent their time with? Who is their friend in school or in locality? What activities they are engaged in apart from their regular studies? All these things, is the obligation of the parents and guardians, to be taken care of, apart from performing their daily based activities.
Unfortunately, there is a problem in our society that parents work like coolie all day long for family and meeting other obligations and expenses but fail to spent sufficient time with their wards and get to know about their daily based activities.
There may be many reasons for that but one of the misconception, I have observed and experienced in our society is that some parents believe that working like a coolie in a day and bringing some gift or some favorite eatables for the kids is everything.
All the responsibilities regarding the children are fulfilled and satisfied just by giving those favorite gifts and or dresses or taking them to any restaurant for refreshment or to any showroom for some fancy dresses. No doubt, this is a very beautiful thing on the part of a parent. It develops more love and affection between the duo (parents and children) and it reinforces their relationship as well, but this is not everything. This may give pleasure to the children but this is not fruitful and beneficial for their life in the long run.
One more strange thing I have observed in our society that some parents who are engaged in household activities and/or earn their livelihood by doing some vocational activities at domestic level, be it work from home, or other such works especially in rural areas where people earn their livelihood on some home based economic activities. There is a strange concept of sending their wards to school or other educational institutes just to get rid of them.
I have many times heard them saying during vacations, that school must open soon so that we can send children to school and get some respite from their noise and mischievous activities. And they add that children create chaos and noise while being at home and when they are outside whether in school or somewhere else we take a breath of relief and relaxation.
Here, it becomes clear that their motive to send their wards to school is only to get relief and relaxation from the mischievous and obstinate activities or demands their wards do or make.
Being parents we should neither get too irritated owing to their stubborn behaviour nor we should give them too much freedom and fulfilling their every demand and aspiration. This indifference of the parents towards their wards costs a lot of both parents and the children as well in the long run.
The most important thing is their education, character building and personal development. The children need your presence more than your presents. It is your presence and positive intervention in their lives that lets you know about the nature of our children, their activities, their likes and dislikes and so on.
So that we can direct their innocent steps towards the path of righteousness, morality, education, character building and overall personal development, which in turn, makes them competent enough to understand value of their health, time , character, career and other the peculiarities and delicacies of the practical world.
If we go on showing such level of indifference towards our wards, the time is sure and certain that our children either step on the wrong track or may not be so competent and confident to combat the challenges of life that are yet to come. And if god forbid such thing happened, they will ask us tomorrow, that if I was not mature enough to decide what is right and what is wrong, why didn’t you let me know, why didn’t stop me when I stepped on the wrong track at the very first? At that time, we will be devoid of any reasonable and satisfactory reply to them.
My request to all is that please don’t be so much indifferent towards the moral and contemporary education of your wards because your indifference today may be unintentional or due to some compulsion but its consequences are sure and certain.
Spent enough time with them, play with them and teach them while having fun. They do not need and understand your lectures no matter how eloquent and rhetoric all they understand and comprehend and learn is by imitating and copying your activities and habits.
They have tendency and inclination to grasp things more quickly by copying and imitating you not by lectures and lengthy advices by parents or teachers. Be careful regarding your words and actions and gestures you make while surrounded by your wards, as the same has the magnetic effect on them.
Discuss with them regarding your life experiences and let know the things you are happy for and the things you regret for as well. When you discuss your achievements with them and they see happiness and positive countenance on your face they will automatically get the message of doing something positive and marvellous in their life.
In case you have made any mistake in your life, it is better not to share that but in case it becomes obliged to share any wrong decision you have made in our life, then share in such a way that you are regretting and repenting over that it will automatically send a message to their subconscious mind not to do that thing in their life rather to refrain from that as much as possible.
Let’s take a pledge today, that if I failed in my life in observing any moral or legal values and we are regretting for the same, our children should not step on the same track. Let’s inculcate in our children, the sense of observing religious and moral and legal values while doing their regular activities of life. So that it may be the source of respect, peace and composure for them throughout the life and the life hereafter as well. And that is the essence of ideal parenthood.
