Dealing with the deaf
By: K S SPillai
The World Health Organization states that 63 million Indians are affected by deafness. Most of the affected would like to keep it a secret as the disease is an embarrassing social stigma.
Hearing loss ranges from mild to profound and has many causes, such as injury, disease, genetic defects, and ageing. People are generally sympathetic towards those with hearing loss and sometimes even envious, as the afflicted can sleep soundly, while others are disturbed even by small sounds. Some religious scriptures also command people not to curse the deaf.
I have some deaf friends as my neighbours. They are aged like me and suffer from several diseases. Deafness or part-deafness is one of them. Over time, they have developed habits that irritate others.
Though I am sympathetic towards people who cannot hear properly, I try to avoid them. Some of my deaf neighbours had normal hearing while in service, but they started suffering from that disease along with some other age-related ones after retirement.
There are many stories about deaf people. My favourite one is about an exasperated shopkeeper of hearing aids telling his customer at the end of a long bargain, “If you want a still cheaper set, here is one looking like a hearing aid, but is an imitation. If you display it in your ear prominently, people will assume you are deaf and will talk louder. That will serve your purpose.”
Another story is about a person who recovers fully from deafness after a prolonged treatment. Suspecting the motives of some of his near relatives, he keeps his recovery a secret and requests his doctor friend also to do likewise.
As his relatives knew about his deafness, they had no hesitation in talking freely before him, revealing their true feelings towards him. He changes his will soon, bestowing all his wealth to a destitute children’s home and keeping it a secret.
Most of my deaf or partly deaf friends do not wear hearing aids as they don’t want to advertise their defects. The unfortunate people talking with them need to repeat what they said many times. When departing they are so tired of talking loudly that they vow to avoid them in the future. That is also the complaint of the deaf person’s family members, who are tired of asking them to wear hearing aids while talking to people.
Some of my friends have also become reckless. They take two-wheelers to the busy city without wearing hearing aids or giving any warning to other road users about their deafness. The family members are afraid they may meet with an accident at any time.
Being old, people think I suffer from many diseases like the loss of hearing. I take undue advantage of this general attitude and fake deafness to avoid visits and even telephone conversations with these unwanted friends.
As such pieces of news spread fast, I am delighted that few people call me on the telephone, fearing that they would have to talk in high volume and also repeat what they said. Sometimes I fake memory loss also and start repeating stories I have told my visitors many times. This makes them invent reasons to leave my presence as early as possible! Sometimes I forget my strategy, display my normal self, and tell my shocked friends with a straight face that I suffer from deafness only at times.
One of my deaf neighbours who lives on my way to the main road is in the habit of not wearing hearing aids. He usually stops me on the road and bores me with his stories. Realising my predicament, my grandson has advised me to move my lips as if replying to his queries and continue to drive, leaving the guy wondering what I said.
(The author is a retired professor of English. A regular contributor to the ‘Kashmir Vision’, his articles and short stories have appeared in numerous national and international publications)
