An institution no more made in heaven
By: K S S Pillai
It is said, “Marriages are Made in Heaven, but Maintained on Earth.” The saying is meant to encourage, assist and provide some practical ways that couples and those who regard this as a holy union may employ to enrich their marriages and stay together for a lifetime.
Many religions consider marriage a permanent and holy union of a man and a woman. Mathew 19: 4 – 6 says, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate”. Marriage is thought to be a social institution with moral obligations. It forms the core of families and promotes social stability. It is a lifelong commitment by two people to each other and is looked upon as a contract sanctioned by God.
Like everything else, the wedding ceremony has also changed its character. Many super-rich people want to make it a memorable event by solemnizing it uniquely. Some take their close relatives and friends to some faraway exotic locale where it is held with all kinds of pomp and publicity. Some enter into wedlock high up in the sky while flying in an aircraft or sailing in a ship. One wanted to tie the knot miles under the Pacific Ocean. The economists are a worried lot as they think the economy could become more robust if this money is spent in the country.
Wedding halls with modern facilities have come up in all major cities. Despite the high rent, they are fully booked during the wedding season, and sometimes the wedding date is fixed depending on the availability of the hall. That is also the case with five-star hotels where some weddings take place. The practice has become so common that even the poor people want to show off by borrowing money at exorbitant interest or selling their meagre assets.
To cater to the needs of these people, a breed of ‘event managers’ has come up everywhere for arranging weddings. They do everything from getting the invitation cards printed, booking halls, and arranging transportation and accommodation of guests.
With the modern world having become a ‘global village’, the institution of marriage is no more a sacred, permanent union of two persons. Divorces and remarriages after many years of marriage that were common in other countries have also become so here.
With more and more women becoming conscious of their rights, the number of women seeking divorce is no less than that of males. Many courts of law that deal with divorces, advocates specializing in the matter, private detectives collecting evidence of adultery, and institutions that offer advice to such couples have increased.
Women having become self-reliant and wanting freedom to live as they like, ‘live-in relationship’, once confined to some foreign countries, is slowly spreading to our land. A man and a woman live together like husband and wife with the understanding that the arrangement could be terminated at any time. A corollary of this arrangement is the concept of ‘single mothers’, who are no longer obliged to disclose the child’s father’s name.
Weddings used to be quite different in the distant past. The parents of the would-be brides or bridegrooms had to go to the homes of the invitees together. A pandal was erected in the compound for the wedding, and another one for cooking the food under the guidance of an expert. Relatives would camp in the house days before the event.
They would be active in the arrangements and lend a helping hand in preparing the spices and similar things. Large vessels to cook various food items were taken on rent. Firewood in sufficient quantity would be split, dried, and stored for the use of preparing the feast. The neighbours also would be as active as the relatives in making the arrangements. During the wedding feast, the bride’s parents would go to the invitees, thank them for attending, and urge them to take a little food from their hands.
(The author is a retired professor of English. A regular contributor to ‘The Kashmir Vision’, his articles and short stories have appeared in various national and international publications)
