Friendship spells hope, love and care
During the last week of the month of July we observe the World Friendship Day. This day was announced in 2011 by United Nations General Assembly with the purpose to spread love, peace, prosperity and kindness between individuals, societies, cultures, people and countries.
The friendship day reminds us the significance of loyal friendships into our lives. In this column, let me touch some different aspects of Friendship which impact one’s life. The etymology of the word “Friendship” has its roots in the Old English “Freondscipe” which means “friendship, mutual liking and regard with somebody”. One who is attached to another person by feelings of personal regard and preference?
Friendship in the real sense involves an unconditional care, distinct concern and upmost respect for your friend. Friendship is to free your time for them, take every possible move to support them on the occasion of need, misery and agony.
Friends care about each other whether it is the moment of joy or tribulation. When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. From the hunter gatherers to different early civilizations, friendships had a top role in the societies.
Even in some societies the last rites of a person were offered by his close friend. They were sometimes calling friendship by the name “blood brothers” or “adaptive brothers”. The modern friendship carries some formal obligations like standing beside his friend during the wedding ceremony, going for outing, attending different parties and so on.
There are three types of friendships in this world like Friendship of Virtue, Friendship of Utility and Friendship of Pleasure. Although it is vague how to understand these distinctions, the basic idea seems to be that virtue, pleasure and utility are the reasons we have in these various types of relationships for loving our friend.
That is, I may love my friend because of the pleasure I get out of that person, or because of the ways in which that person is useful to me, or because I find him/her to have a virtuous character. Given the involvement of love in each case, all the three kinds of friendships seem to involve a concern for your friend for his sake and not for your own choice.
Psychologists believe that if you surround yourself with the virtuous and good people, you will live a happiest life which is linked to better health and a high level of well-being. Friends provide a sense of support and the possibility of loneliness and subsequent depression can be averted through good friendships. But if we look towards the current era, there are only few percent of people who get such type of friends in their surroundings. Andthey are the luckiest people on this planet.
We hardly find them in any sort of depression or anxiety. Such friendships lead to peaceful lives. American Journalist Jot Katz says, “I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. A powerful stuff.”
A true friend is someone who despite their own autonomy make you realise that you are not secluded, it is utmost important to this symbiotic relationship to have an overriding sense of loyalty. A friend should never be a judgemental one who will make you feel minimized or down, this bucket should always be full of respect, honour and equality.
Your best and loyal friends date you back to your childhood. Keep your busy to enjoy the memories you spent with them. Such friends give shape to your internal and external happiness, create unique memories and always boost you to achieve your goals. On one of the places Aristotle said, “In poverty and misfortunes of life,true friends are a sure refuge”.
Nowadays, the concept of friendship has changed drastically. Day in and day out the concept of friendship take new shape. In this era, there are friends who only approach you when you have good times. In your bad times even, your close friends run away from you. History witnesses how one’s close friend ruthlessly kills the dreams of his or her own friend.
Some of your best remained friends become your worst enemies. The modern friendship is such a dangerous one that it can become a reason for your destruction. Besides this, such friendships can demoralize, defame, assassinate and can even make you a notorious druggist of your society.
This results in the rise of self-sabotaging behaviours, depression, anxiety, crimes and other health issues. It may be the reason that somebody has rightly said, “Choose your friends wisely”. It is because; a friend can either shape your future and personality or destroy your plenty of hopes.
It is high time for you to self-introspect yourself and get to know what sort of friends are in your surroundings. Make haste, if you require to mend your friend circle.Else a time will meet you when there will remain nothing in your bucket except regret and wail. So let’s do it now.
(The author is a post graduate in tourism studies)
