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Delayed marriages

Delayed marriages
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Mushtaq Bhat
Marriage is a spiritual union of two souls and an important institution of one’s life. Every individual needs someone to be with and rely on. Life seems worthless when you have no one to share with.
However, abstaining oneself from it for a long time has resulted in far reaching implications ranging from extra marital affairs to adultery and from depression to suicides. Average age for marriages in Kashmir has risen from 20’s to 30’s with emphasis on economic stability and extravagant weddings.
The rise in marrying age has created many social and medical complexities. The late marriages are taking a heavy toll on the mental health of Kashmiri youth particularly girls. Even a big chunk of people here doesn’t desire to be the parents of girl child because in present circumstances they (parents) bother and find it difficult to choose a better half for their daughter.
There are various reasons in pushing average marrying age including modernization, unhealthy customs and irreligious attitude in the society. Unfortunately, today a lot of un-Islamic rituals have crept in Muslim marriages which have absolutely no basis in Islam. Many of these rituals are no more than a boastful show of wealth playing straight into the hands of the Devil as so much wealth is squandered in such marriage.
And yes, people do spend more than they can afford on weddings in an effort to keep up with (and to impress) their friends, neighbours and extended families. And the fact is that the cases of delay age are rising day by day. Are we not giving due priority to marriage at the right age? Is it really difficult to find the most suitable partner for life? Are we getting over-demanding? Another point here is once the marriage is delayed, we sometimes become desperate and settle with compromises. This is needed to be checked as it is not good for society at large,” It becomes necessary to prevent such alarming scenario from panning out.
We have come to a stage where it is necessary to redefine dowry and laws amended to make extravagant weddings punishable. We should understand that marriage is more than a big wedding and we as society have to become sensible in a way to instill the morality and responsibility to get rid of dowry system and disavowing from extravagance. This is a social responsibility for all and everyone should play his or her role to stop the alarming trend of late marriages.
There is a need to cut down the wedding expenses as Islam our religion stresses upon simplifying the institution of marriage. Many women are suffering from harassment at the hands of their husband and in-laws. Rich and poor, educated and illiterate continue to demand cash, furniture, vehicles and feast from the bride’s parents which is dangerous trend that drives many families to debt trap and even to suicide.
With the efforts that our treasure is in heaven and not on the earth Muslim scholars and leaders should come forward and lay emphasis on solemnizing marriages according to Islamic customs and minimize spending during weddings.
Secondly, people who can afford should come forward to help the poor parents monetarily, so that they can get their daughters married. This is a social responsibility for all and everyone should play his or her role to stop the alarming trend of late marriages. This is a social responsibility for all and everyone should play his or her role to stop the alarming trend of late marriages.
To conclude it, we have to change our mindset and look at things from a logical perspective instead of the perspective what people will think “Log kya sochenge” to make the simplicity a norm.
(The author can be reached at mushtaqbhat1312@gmail.com)


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