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Austere birthdays

Austere birthdays
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N J Ravi Chander
Among my earliest memories are accompanying my parents to the bustling Shivajinagar bazaar in Bengaluru for my birthday shopping. Our favourite haunt was the Old Poor House (OPH) Road, lined with small garment stores, which always seemed to be chock-a-block with people. Like most tiny tots, I fancied shirts bearing colourful prints of birds, animals, aero planes, ships or automobiles.
The outing would conclude with a trip to the family tailor, BS Rao and sons, on Wheelers Road, Cox Town. The portly tailor with a pleasant disposition took down the measurements with a tape while his assistant recorded them in a long, dog-eared notebook.
The tailor would then snip off a piece of the fabric and attach it to the page that held the jottings. Back then, people seldom donned readymades, and clothes were tailor-made. However, tailors rarely met deadlines, and tensions became palpable as the birthday approached.
Birthday celebrations were simple family affairs, sans cakes, photographs (I was always camera shy) or candles. But the elders would make me feel extra special by greeting me: “May you have the best day and year, and may the heavens shower their choicest blessings on you”. Then, following a refreshing bath, I would gleefully slip into my new outfit and be led into the puja room to thank the Almighty for safely steering me through another year.
Since my birthday fell on January 15, a Pongal holiday, I missed the celebration at school. The birthday spread at home usually included non-vegetarian fare, desserts, dry fruits and nuts. Pleasant surprises would arrive as a geometry box, piggy bank, toy or money. Finally, after dusk, the elders would whisk me away to the nearby shrine to offer special puja.
A handcrafted and attractive Channapatna wooden rocking horse gifted by a grandaunt was one of my first birthday gifts. The photograph with me astride and my mother beside me (taken at Sujan studio, Cox Town) is one of my prized possessions.
Few possessed a landline, and terms like social media, texting or the internet were alien. Hence, answering calls or responding to text messages didn’t arise. Only close family members knew your birth date. One seldom-used birthday cards and postcards were the only cards we knew!
Schoolmates from affluent families arrived with boxes of goodies and chocolate bars – the latter reserved for teachers and close buddies. The birthday child stood next to the teacher facing the class as the students rose to the chorus, ‘Happy birthday to you.’ The beaming birthday child, smartly attired in sparkling new clothes, stood out in the crowd.
The unwritten rule exempted the birthday child from any spanking. A category of classmates shied away from school on their special days, but our hearts went out to students from deprived families who never got to celebrate their birthdays.
Grand celebrations after turning one, fifty, or a hundred are par for the course. However, we also mark milestones when a person enters the teen years, turns sweet sixteen, comes of age, or turns into an adult.
The completion of each decade after turning 30 also grabs attention. But while birthdays are a day to enjoy good food, gifts and the company of your loved ones, people would do well to spare a thought for the underprivileged for whom every day is a struggle.
(The columnist is a former banker who has taken to writing as a past time. His contributions appear in various national and regional publications including ‘Kashmir Vision’)


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