True Friendship: The treasured possession
Mohammad Hussain Khan
True friendship is what gives us reason to stay strong in life. Friendship makes life sweet and thrilling. It is a feeling that someone understands and appreciates you as you are, without exaggeration, flattery and pretensions. It gives a feeling that you are “wanted” and that you are “someone” and not a faceless being in the crowd.
Certainly true friends are meant to be “grappled” to the soul. The way the world is today, the search for such a soul seems to be the test of one’s patience as true friendship is a very rarer phenomenon these days. The reason why people can’t find good friends is that they are themselves not good friends.
“Do unto others what you want others to do” may be an old statement but its truth stands confirmed even today. It we want that we should remain selfish, proud and unsympathetic but that our friends should love us, live for us and die for us, though we would not lift our little finger to help them when in distress, naturally enough, we don’t deserve to have true friends. How true, “first deserve, then desire”. Reciprocity is the essence of friendship. Again it is not very difficult to get fair weather friends who prove true so the statement that
“When the purse is full, friends you have in plenty,
They all mind their way when it gets empty”.
A full purse never lacks friends. Such friends love not the man but his money and the comforts that he can buy for them. Such men are great opportunists. Like a butterfly, they shift from one flower to another, when one flower has been sucked dry they change to another. We must not be the fourth friend of him who had three friends before and lost them.
Most of the friendships break on the rock of money. Whereas small free gifts strengthen friendship, big loans and money matters break it completely. How beautifully Shakespeare has written against such a trend in those words,
“Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For the loan loses both itself and friend”.
Certainly it is very easy to make friends but what counts is not the making of friends but the maintaining of friendship. Because maintenance puts you to different type of tests, tests which all times even seem to be tearing your rock like relation to pieces. But those who survive main shocks are really worth loving and worth cherishing friends.
Be slow to fall into friendship, but when thou do, continue firm and constant. Really if you want the seedling of your friendship grow into a mighty beautiful tree what you need in abundance is courage, wisdom and patience.
The courage to be stored by our friends in all weathers as a friend in need is a friend indeed. The wisdom to understand your friend as the world is full of such people as are likely to poison you against each other.
Make yourself worth your friends trust since it is more important to be loved than to be trusted. Have patience to understand your friend. Patience pacifies even the most perturbed situation and no wonder that patience bears fruit in the long run.
The childhood friend reminds us of our part. Such a friend seen in the later period of life brings to our mind the sweet remembrance of the golden period of our life. There is a magic in the memory of our school boy friendship, it saves the heart and even affects the nervous system of those who have no heart.
The memory of the moments spent together flashes back on the mind and while in loneliness it gives some pleasure. Dear readers, true friendship are a rare blessing. Having once got it cherished as the most sacred possession of your life. So guard it against all evil designs. Keep it intact, what may the circumstances be.
Indeed no sacrifice is too big keep the friendship alive. A joyful friend is a medicine of life. He is the one who heals you when you are hurt. He picks you when you have been kicked. He pacifies you when you are pricked. He soothes you when you are strained. He comforts you when you are confused. He pampers you when you are disturbed.
Really blessed is the man who gets such a good, trustworthy dependable friend. Even life is not a big price to be paid for such a friendship. The man dies. The memories remain. Let your friend say with his head held high that “He got from heaven a friend”. True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.
(The author is a Kashmir Vision columnist. He can be reached at [email protected])