Confidence: Way of giving meaning to Life
Confidence means having the courage to express yourself fully; no matter what the other person thinks or feels about you and therefore, not being afraid of other peoples’ judgment. One is not born confident but gains it with the passage of time. Once you acquire confidence, use it; otherwise, you will lose it.
There are various events in life that force you to do such activities which boost your confidence. The event in my life which boosted my confidence immensely took place last year in the month of November. It was Guru Nanak Dev Ji’s 550th birth anniversary and I was asked to deliver a speech on his life-teachings, but I was extremely nervous.
Since I had never spoken before a huge audience, therefore, I had to practice more and more until I felt that I am absolutely prepared to deliver the speech. After I gave the speech, the whole hall echoed with the sound of claps. Although I won the 2nd prize yet I am happy that I did not get stuck up with the feelings of nervousness and anxiety.
From that moment, I regularly participate in every college event be that the Women’s day or any other. That event prompted a realization in me that the growth is not in winning but in facing the audience and having the guts to express your ideology without any fear which ultimately leads you gain confidence. So, now the question is what makes you feel confident? The answer to this question is, practicing self-discipline.
First of all, let us try to understand what discipline means? Discipline means, instead of doing what you want, do what is right. Managing your time is the first step towards maintaining self-discipline. Making a time-table can prove handy. Not just making a time table but following it and sacrificing your comfort zone is extremely difficult and challenging also.
If one follows it regularly, it will definitely make him/her confident and self-assured also. Discipline also means following what your mind says instead of following your heart. To practice discipline, one has to be rational and determined. He/she cannot be an emotional fool, which means he/she cannot be swayed by his/her emotions. Going against your comfort zone makes you feel superior as it is very difficult to do the same and very few people do difficult things and therefore, you do not need any assurance from the outer world, you become self-sufficient and independent.
Becoming confident also improves your relationships as having low confidence makes you feel that every gossip is about you, every stare is on you. But in reality, everyone is busy with their own selves, their own thoughts. Feeling comfortable and calm in your own skin makes the other person feel the same.
The atmosphere around you is contagious; you become what you are surrounded with. Even if sometimes the things do not turn out as expected, it does not mean that you have lost the game, the ball is still in your court as one mistake is very small in front of your number of past achievements and most importantly, it is a delusion that you will always be right, after all you are a human being, you can do mistakes, it is all normal.
No need to over think about it as it will only make you depressed, sad and also lower down your morale. Maintain a diary and write about five events that boosted your confidence, so that you can have a look at it during your difficult times. Make sure it should be attractive and decorated nicely. Accept failure as a requisite for your personality growth- failure is a stepping stone to success.
Bruce lee, the famous Chinese-American actor has said that “failure is not a crime but low aim is, if you are trying, it is glorious even to fail.” Focus on the positive aspect of your mistake(s) and learn from it and proceed and make sure that you don’t repeat the same mistake again. The motto behind gaining confidence is to overcome your inferiority complex and/or shyness but one should always keep this in mind that overconfidence leads to disaster. The thought “I can do it” shows confidence and the thought “Only I can do it” shows overconfidence. At the end, I will like to say that “confidence makes everything beautiful at least not for everyone but for you.”
(Simrandeep Kour is a student at cluster University Srinagar. She can be reached at [email protected])