Austerity in marriages
With each passing day new customs and traditions get founded in Kashmir
Rayees Ahmad Kumar
Marriages are strongly recommended in Islam. Prophet (PBUH) says “Nikah is my Sunnah whosoever denies it, he isn’t among us and we have nothing to do with him”. It is through marriages that a clan is preserved and its roots give new branches.
When Nikah becomes expensive, Zinah becomes cheap. So we must take every step to make weddings as simple and affordable as possible.
After a child is born the parents aspire to give him/ her a better education so that he forges ahead in his life. He doesn’t become a financial liability upon his parents. After he / she has received good education and has attained a good job as well, the parents then wish to seek a good better half for their loved ones.
But once the nuptial knot is tied, they forget the most important aspect of wedding ceremony, the way wedding should be celebrated and teachings of our dearest Prophet (PBUH) about the austerity in marriages.
Due to extravagance in the marriages, thousands of girls belonging to low income groups have crossed the marriageable age. Extravagance in marriages among the economically sound families is not only the biggest evil in our society but it proves not less than a disaster for those families/ parents who can’t afford luxurious items for their daughters.
With each passing day new customs and traditions get founded in Kashmir which was otherwise called a ‘PIR VEAR’ and where we ought to live with simplicity and celebrate our weddings with austerity.
The unnecessary invented customs like THAPH TRAVIN (This is the first step prior to wedding in which few persons from to be grooms side visit the to be bride’s home where they drink, eat and exchange money and materials and it costs heavy loads on both the parties).
PIALAS TRAWUN (This is the decades old custom in which few persons from men’s side used to visit girls home along with money amounting Rs 1100 which signified the deal between the two families but now it too has become ultra expensive due to introduction of new unnecessary costly steps)
PEACHHIL (A large number of men women from both parties visit their opposite sides and it is a big financial burden on both families especially on girl’s parents)
YEAZ BOUG (After every Eid prior to wedding, both parties visit each other’s side with Eid gifts and other items) etc further putting financial burden on poor people who can’t afford these customs which consumes their years long earnings.
The concept of dowry though an old one now, but it is definitely a big curse in our society and it needs to be uprooted at an earliest. Persons who afford not only fetch items that are needed in daily life for their daughters but some even give items as dowry such as cars, houses, residential plots etc.
It is because of these reasons that in every corner of valley, girls above the age of 35 to 40 thousands in number are waiting for their nuptial knot to be tied. Instead of extravagance in the weddings of their children if these well off groups come forward to help children of poor backgrounds especially daughters to get married, this will not only uproot the biggest evil in our society but it will be a big relief for these people.
Individuals, social groups, NGOs and religious organisations must come forward and press the people to give up extravagance in weddings and instead adopt simplicity while tying nuptials knot of their beloved children.
This along with making our society a healthy one will also develop a tradition to save our money, energy and materials for the ceremonies which otherwise is consuming our entire earnings and sink ourselves in huge debts.
(The author teaches at Govt BHS Anderwan Ganderbal)
